Monday, 17 June 2013

Worries of Starting Secondary School

My eldest son is in his final term at Primary school.

And it hardly seems 5 minutes ago that he started school.

I remember thinking how strange it would be him going off to school, how I wondered how he would get on, what the future would hold for him.

Then the years passed so very quickly, I almost can't recall them, and now he is in his final weeks of Primary education. It almost doesn't seem possible, I have such strong memories of my own time at senior school, I remember the last days at primary school, the first induction days at senior school and I know these will be the years Jake will always remember too.

I would be lying if I said I was 100% confident that the next 5 years of his school life will be plain sailing, I hope, of course I do, that he manages well and fits straight into the new life at senior school.

But the reality of the next chapter is massive.

If I'mhonest, I  have been rather a slack parent for the primary school years, I don't force the issue of chanting times tables or stress over spelling mistakes. I don't worry when test results come back just about average, I don't make them read school books every night before bed, and  I wonder if this will there fore be a huge shock to the system when the lessons up a notch and homework is more of a must.

I hope the next years of learning are good ones for Jake, I really hope with all my heart it is the turning point for him, to find something that really grabs his interest, to truly find something he enjoys and becomes good at, for him to make new friends, new relationships and gain confidence in so many aspects as he doesn't really have many hobbies right now, I hope he takes advantage of any after school activities available and finds something that he wants to join in with, tries new activities he hasn't even thought about yet, I want him to try new things, and find his place in the world. It is scary to know it is the next years that all this will happen, and it is the things that happen over the following  years that will mould the adult he becomes.

With the next few weeks important ones, so many open days, visis to the new school, parents evening and final goodbyes,  I have been thinking about all the changes to come over the next few years, and trying to come to terms with the fact that my children are indeed growing up.

I'm not sure if right now anyone is ready, least of all me, I feel like life as a parent has to change, adapt, grow up, and that means improving and organising the little things - properly organising things. Being on top of the game so much more. For years I have always thought there was time ahead of us, that it didn't really matter  if homework was missed because 'they are only young' but the years have crept up on me surprisingly fast, and I am no longer a parent of toddlers, no, now really Jake isn't even a child.. I know he is, but he is certainly not that little boy who needed me for everything,  now he is finding his own way, and I can only stand, watch and hopefully guide him a little.

It really is a funny feeling, I know I am a parent, yet I find it so much more difficult now than when they were younger, it seemed so much easier then, easy to make them smile, make things fun and make sure they were doing something useful.

Now the parenting has to change, no longer are brightly coloured numbered blocks going to help, or big crayons and scribbles on paper helping them learn something new. No, now I need to think like a parent of older children and find what it is that will help them now.

The first thing I want to do is sort out the boys bedroom, as at the moment it is a bit of a tip in there and there is simply no storage space and far far too many toys, I have visions of lovely clean sideboards and space for Jake to organise his school things, but the reality might not come out like that!

I want to get myself a memo board for downstairs too, I am probably more disorganised than the children, and I need to make sure I am helping Jake with getting things done on time, not being the parent who always forgets!

I want a stack of draws either by the front door downstairs, or in Jake's bedroom, which he can organise with the days of the week with the homework in, in my mind it will be perfect he will place the homework in the draw on the day he gets it, then complete it and move it over to the draw of the day it needs handing in, but I am just not sure how effective this will be, but I can at least give it ago.

I will blog about anything I find that seems to work, and what we are doing to try and make the next year a happy one, if anyone has any tips however I would be most grateful!


  1. This was me and my boy a year ago. I was worrying a lot, but we've made it! He seems to do less homework now than he did at primary, which concerns me, but I can't make him do it. I'm trying to get him to more independent. His first days at secondary went really well, but now he's full-on sulky, argumentative tween. I'm not sure how much of this is school and how much is his age! I blogged a fair bit about this stuff last year, mainly anecdotal, but it may be helpful!

  2. I felt the same as you when my eldest went to High School, and then again with the next 4 - but 8 years down the line he's just as immature in a lot of ways as he was then! The homework plan is a good one, best of luck with that - especially when he gets to 13 or 14 and goes through the 'meh' stage :D

  3. I am dreading the days my boys go to high school. I hope it all goes well xx


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