Friday 18 May 2012

Boys have long hair too.

This post was written as a contribution to the Boys Have Long Hair, Too Blog Carnival.  The participating bloggers are sharing their experiences, struggles, and opinions surrounding having a son who has long hair.

I few months ago I wrote a post about my experience with the attitudes of people when they see my boys with longer hair and wearing their sisters clothes and playing with dolls making comments such as 'you'll make him gay!' or 'you must have really wanted a girl' you can read that post here. I have a firm belief that children should be given the freedom to grow up and enjoy everything that life has to offer without the restrictions and boundaries of societies perceptions, and I adore the natural free and wild hair styles to match the free and wild adventures!

So when I was invited by Crayon Freckles to join in with their blogging carnival boys have longhair too I really wanted to join in to talk abit more about the various hair styles my boys have had over the years.
I was never eager to get my boys hair cut, and both had very blond hair in their first years and it looked really cute, so simply I didn't want to cut it, these first few years are the only ones really where you as a parent get full say on what your childs appearance is as they are too young to argue, and although you get comments such as 'oh for heavens sake cut the boys hair he'll grow up thinking he's a girl!' I never wanted to give them extremely short hair cuts in the early years selfishly maybe but purely because I much prefer the longer hair styles.

 But  eventually the comments great on you,  'oh SHE's a pretty little thing, or such like, and  my mother always asking when I would cut their hair, so I did trim their beautiful baby locks and for the main part they both sported long graded wedges.

Everytime they would have a trim I would wish we hadn't cut it, but hair is lovely and always grows right back, and then I would leave it a little longer until the next cut, meaning for a percentage of the year they would both be sporting hair that flowed down the back of their necks onto their shoulders.

But then more comments as time went on they were more aware of the comments would say 'I'm a boy!' with defiance and would question hairstyles themselves and occasionally ask for a haircut  so we would trim it again, each time after a trim the hair would thicken up, my eldest is now 10 and has had more haircuts than my youngest and as a result has much thicker and darker hair, but his hair cuts go in the same once a year sort of style, letting the hair grow long in a rough and ready unkept style inbetween.

This photo is one where his hair was perhaps at its longest just over a year ago when he was aged 9.

Then either someone would say something resulting in one of the boys asking for a haircut, or they would just decided perhaps it was getting a bit too long and ask for a cut, so the scissors would come out again neatening it back up into the regular long  graded wedge.

Me personally, will always love the long naturally scruffy hair styles, but I have always said I will never inflict my preferences onto the boys, so on the occasion they ask for their hair short like their dads, or a school friend,  with a lump in my throat I allow them to have it cut even to a very short style. I will never force them to have a haircut, nor will I ever refuse them to try it shorter.

But after having their hair cut short, they say they prefer it longer and then soon enough the beautiful long hair is flowing down the back of their necks again.

Hairstyles really are very personal and it is a tricky one to decided where you trust the childs opinions and follow what they ask for, or do you as a parent have the right to push your opinions onto your children? In my opinion I think long hair looks so much better so for me I will always smile each time my boys hair reaches that untidy wild stage I have grown to ignore the she and her comments which used to bother me so much more than they do now. However as much as I love the longer hair on my boys, I have to and grit my teeth if and when they ask for it to be cut but thankfully they both, for the moment at least, like the longer look too!

Be sure to check out the other amazing bloggers and find out what they think of boys hair styles :)

My Happy Hippie Boy Andie from Crayon Freckles shares why she and her husband have chosen to let their 3.5 yr old son’s hair go uncut.

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Father’s View Alex from Glittering Muffins says it happens that not only does his son, Nico have long hair, he as the father has no problem with it either. He personally does not find that long hair emasculates a boy (or adult alike)...

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Maman’s View Valerie from Glittering Muffins son has been called a cute little girl for about a year and a half (he’s 2.5 yo). So she corrects people and tells them he’s a boy and loves his long hair (Once in a while she even throws in a “he also loves to watch Strawberry Shortcake”)

Boys Have Long Hair, Too The Monko from Taming the Goblin explains why she likes it when her son is mistaken for a girl and asks the question "Do mums of girls feel this guilty when their child doesn't like having their long hair brushed?"

Sampson Kellie from Our Mindful Life reflects on how long hair gives her son power.

Trials and Tribulations of a Boy with Tresses Carolyn from Mama's Little Muse talks about her experience in raising a boy with hair too beautiful to cut short. It is about how people have reacted; how she has created keepsakes featuring his hair; and also how they have arrived at a game that they play so that the hair brushing experience goes more smoothly.

His Hair, His Decision Lyndsay from Our Feminist {Play}School asks the question “why shouldn't a boy have long hair?”. Her 'answers' are historical, personal and family-specific.


  1. My son was born with gorgeous hair and it's never been cut, except for a bit of fringe that goes over his eye lol. His daddy had long hair as a kid and loved it.

    We've not had too many problems (yet) with people confusing him for a girl. I'm certainly not going to let other people dictate to me how I should style it, but I will honour his own wishes when he expresses them.

    1. you son has beautiful hair! I hope he grows up to love it as much as you do and his long locks stay for a good few years yet x

    2. Thanks hun, I hope so too. I shall be very proud if his hair looks as gorgeous as it does on your boys.

    3. haha my boys are rockin the serious rough and ready approach and half the time it looks a mess, but I still think its cool ;)

    4. I agree I have always loved the longer hair styles on boys and men (unless they don't have a choice — I love my boyfriend's involuntary bald head:). What's up with the short dos on guys these days. I never really understood it. Seems easy, yes, but kind of boring! Love your boys' long locks, I hope they decide to keep them! Glad to be participating in this Carnival with you!

  2. Your pictures are gorgeous!

  3. Oooh, I wrote about my son and his hair once too
    And he still hasn't had it cut yet :)
    Lovely piece x

  4. I, too, prefer longer hair on boys, yet let me son make decisions about his own hair. I also trim it up, and try to keep it styled in a masculine style, but ultimately, his hair is his own to cut or not.

  5. My mum always persuaded me to keep my son's hair short. Now grandad takes him to the barbers - but not too short so he looks like "a thug". Guess you can't win whatever you choose someone complains!

  6. I love that you let your boys do their own thing. I totally relate to what you said about taking advantage of the first few years when you as a parent get the choice - Goblin's long hair is totally our parental choice, its not his, he just doesn't know any better. When he does know better I, like you will respect his choice, even if that is a skin head (although I hope it isn't). And I hope that he is as lucky as your boys who seem to be able to sport any hair style and still look really great.

  7. Your boys have fab hair. My son didn't have his first hair cut until he was four - and still has long hair. The only thing that irritates me more than people referring to him as a 'she' is those same people going on to lament that his sister doesn't have the same hair.

  8. My son has seriously cropped short hair but mainly because he's only 19 months and it's really practical. Should he want it longer when he's a little older, it's up to him. I've seen a lot more boys recently with longer hair and it looks so nice. I'm also a huge believer in letting children have choices with how they look and what they play with. CK's favourite toy is a doll and he also likes to carry a little handbag with him. It's much to the disgust of his grandad but I personally couldn't care less. Your boys are gorgeous and I imagine they love the freedom of making these decisions for themself.

  9. Your boys' hair is lovely - long or short. Thank you for sharing your perspectives on their hairstyles, and I completely agree with you that they should decide how their hair looks. It's unfortunate that often peer pressure or a rude comment can sway their decisions.

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